I was born and raised in a small Illinois town. Most of my maternal relatives were born and raised within rural Illinois – many within just a few miles of the same town. This is not an uncommon story, but I found it virtually impossible to stay in the small town where I was born and set out to venture into the great unknown.
For me, the “great unknown” started with just one town over. Growing up, I didn’t have the opportunity to explore much – and the world was not yet technologically educational as it is today. The next town over might as well have been a million miles away.
On top of that, I was a quite anxious person – even as a young kid. With a more senstive nature and a very sheltered home life, almost everything scared me. Couple that with severe anxiety brought on by trouble at home and an underlying feeling of inadequacy from my early years of coming to terms with being gay in a traditional setting, and I was basically Nell – the lady who lived in the woods and had her own language.
Slowly, I explored. First – the next town, then the next, and the next. College, friends and jobs brought me to the BIG City of St. Louis where. It was remarkable. Finally, I discovered vacation travel through a cruise to the Caribbean, and several beach trips. I was hooked.
When the opportunity to travel for work presented itself, I jumped on it. Career advancement had led me to something wonderful: Business Travel. I was not only encouraged to travel, but EXPECTED to do so. Over the years, I had the opportunity to go to New York City, San Francisco, Chicago, Atlanta, LA, over and over. I parlayed this into my vacations and would extend trips on my own dime; visiting wine country while in San Francisco, and exploring Musical Theater in Broadway while in New York for a conference.
The fear left me and I was became adept at navigating public transportation systems, finding local gems, avoiding tourist traps and befriending locals. I made long-term, real friends in many different towns across America.
The internet was also instrumental in helping to expand my horizons. In chat rooms or via social media and email, I befriended and formed true, heartfelt relationships with people in Sydney, Dallas, Phoenix, New York, Mexico City, Amsterdam and beyond.
When I met my now husband in 2011, it was doing exactly what I had come to love so much: Traveling any chance I got, connecting with loved ones, and learning about new places. Having planned a vacation driving across the mid-south in the USA to visit friends, extended family and a few points of interest, I made a fateful stop in Texas to see a friend of a friend. Our other mutual friend had taken his own life months prior and I’d flown in for the funeral. While there, I found that my new Texas friend and I had an instant connection. It was only natural to add a stop to my preplanned trip weeks later.
After a three-year long-distance relationship where travel became our norm, we had shown each other our home towns – Dallas and St. Louis. We basically lived in one place for two-weeks, then the other for two-weeks, and so on. We travelled together, and I showed him New York City, and he introduced me to Hawaii. He chose a cruise vacation in the Caribbean and New Orleans, and I chose Kauai. We thrived in our new reality where the world was our backyard.
Together, my now husband and I have traveled to Spain, London, Mexico, Central America and every populated Hawaiian Island – and many other places. We continue to plan trips to the British Isles and beyond, and we visit Hawaii every chance we get.
It is hard to believe that at the age of 45, our travel history looks much closer to that of a REAL world traveler than it does a hometown boy. Although we currently live within an hour of where I grew up, we know there are more choices out there. We can live and thrive anywhere we decide to live – and we plan to explore as many options as possible.
Together, my husband and I have developed deep reverence for our hometowns, but continue to be enthralled by exploring other cities and cultures. I like to joke that “travel ruins your life because you realize how horrible your hometown is.” But the truth is that it allows us to see our hometowns from the perspective of others. The mundane and off-putting stuff falls away and we are able to live, work and play in our own backyards having a new appreciation for the unique character of the familiar.
I realize that never having children, having the privilege of attending college and earning a nice salary most of my life has given me opportunities to travel that most do not have, but at least half of the responsibility for this lay in our choices. We chose to step outside of our comfort zones. We chose to sacrifice personal lives in exchange for college educations. We chose to relocate to nearby metropolitan areas in order to find better jobs. We chose to take advantage of opportunities to travel instead of buying new sofas or more expensive vehicles. Even though we have to acknowledge the privilege that has allowed us certain choices – we made those choices with expansion in mind. We were interested in new cultures, different races, unknown destinations – and we dove into them with our full soul and heart.
In large part, our journey has been one comprised of roots and wings. We had the roots and we found our wings – one town at a time. We conquered fear and personal ignorance by taking one step at a time and embracing curiosity over comfort zones, and education over familiarity. One town at a time, we found our way to London, Barcelona, New York and LA. One town at a time, we’ll find our way to new places in the future.
And then, we come back home to our home towns where we relax and luxuriate in that which is familiar and comfortable. Each time we leave, we take the lessons and understanding of the places we’ve been and apply them to a new place. Each time the world gets smaller, and our hometowns get bigger – because we are no longer trapped. We are willing guests in our own skin with the knowledge that we can shed our skin at will (bank account and global pandemics willing).
With that, I encourage anyone to expand your horizons one place… one town at a time. Feel free to rip off the seal and jump into a massive trip – knock yourself out. But for us… the truth of our lives has been to find our way little by little until we can no longer explore due to age, health or finances. Then, we will settle into whatever shelter we find for ourselves, hold hands, and look at our photographs together with a knowing glance and smile. We did it – and that’s all that will matter – even if we settle down just one town over from where we started.
Craig is a Travel Vlogger, Writer and Poet. Check out his Travel Vlog videos on YouTube, or follow on Instagram & FB – all as “Truly Remarkable Life.”
Back in 2014, the United States was on the magical carpet ride that was marriage equality. Meanwhile, my partner, KJ, and I were on our own sort of magical journey. Three years of a long distance relationship was just about all we could take, and we had decided to get married whether same-sex marriage was legally recognized – or not. It was legal in Hawaii, and that’s where we wanted to hold our wedding, so we’d be ahead of the curve once the rest of the country caught up.
As time grew closer to the wedding, we bought a house in St. Louis, KJ found a job nearby, and we started the obligatory paring down of duplicate toasters, bookshelves and garden gnomes. We finished the move just two months before the wedding. It was a busy and exciting time.
Everything went beautifully, including the marriage equality debate in the U.S. By the time we were married in Hawaii, our marriage was recognized by other states – and we were therefore afforded new rights as a married couple. Continue reading →
I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I can be a night owl and it gets out of hand sometimes and starts to impact my health. If I could just live as a night owl, I’d be fine. BUT, the pesky world doesn’t allow it.
The past few weeks have resulted in getting run down and sick and an embarrassing break out on my face! So, I have been working to get on a schedule again.
Back on Track
After finally getting a couple good nights rest, I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head. It is an 80’s country song by Wynonna that goes: “When I reach the place I’m going / I will surely know my way.”
Of course, my newly rested brain immediately began to creatively ponder the lyrics and how they relate to where I am right now, which is…
… well, I have no freaking idea how to get to where I want to go. (Ohhh… so that’s how it’s gonna be today. *SMH*).
Of course, that meant I had to watch the YouTube video for the song, which led me to another video… and another. Eventually, I ran across a video of a Commencement speech by Oprah Winfrey where she speaks of taking the “next right step.”
And… there we have it.
Just take the next right step, and don’t freak out over the end result!
So my thoughts on this topic are bouncing around in my head today as I push forward with our online merchandising, paying bills, RSVPing to a wedding and so on.
When I reach the place I’m going, I will surely know my way. In the meanwhile, I have to ignore my break-outs, the bags under my eyes and the constant humming under my breath. That’s just how I roll.
Mom… Dad… I have to tell you something. I know you raised me with good old-fashioned Midwestern values. I was that kid who had a paper-route and mowed lawns in our small idyllic community where everyone knew each other. You also taught me to be kind and patient – even when others did not deserve those graces. You taught me to value all types of people – even though our community was not racially diverse. You showed me how to live with humility, to be pleasant, and to have patience. I have carried those values into my adult life and they have evolved even further as my life has unfolded.
I know you raised me right and I am grateful.
I think you may have seen signs that clued you in. I was always a nice kid and I was welcoming to new people, loved the ocean, and enjoyed pineapple. I also probably hang around in Hawaii more than other people, and I talk about Hawaii a lot. I didn’t exactly hide it.
I know you had suspicions.
Over the years, I have realized that it is those very qualities that make me who I am are also kind of aligned with something else. It is something that I cannot change and wouldn’t want to even if I could. It is who I am at the core of my being, and I finally have a name for it.
Mom… Dad… I am ALOHA.
Wait, you thought I was going to say I was WHAT? Oh, yeah… I’m that too. But this time I’m telling you that – with every ounce of my being – I am Aloha.
You see, the Aloha spirit that so many people are celebrating these days, fits with my very nature. I’ve met others who are Aloha and they have helped me see that this is who I am. I always wondered why I didn’t fit in, but now I know for sure… and I can no longer pretend to be the Midwestern boy and all that goes along with that.
Thank you for always raising me to value others who were a little Aloha. In fact, I think you’re very Aloha-friendly. While the rest of the world was telling me that something was wrong with me, you just quietly allowed those personality traits to be “okay.”
I think you may have seen signs that clued you in. I was always a nice kid and I was welcoming to new people, loved the ocean, and enjoyed pineapple. I also probably hang around in Hawaii more than other people do… and I talk about Hawaii a LOT. I didn’t exactly hide it and you most likely had suspicions. I never meant to be deceptive. I just wanted to fit in.
No more hiding. As of today, I am claiming my Aloha-ness. Oh, don’t worry. You don’t have to start calling me “Brah” or “Cuzzin.” Not everyone with the Aloha spirit actually lives in Hawaii and dances around with hula skirts and leis. Iam stayimg right where I am and will keeping being me. However, the Aloha spirit is in me and I can’t pretend that I’m something I’m not. Once in a while you may see a lei in my house, but just know that I am simply embracing a culture that has embraced me.
Please don’t feel like you have to explain it to anyone. I’m just going to be who I am and let them see that being Aloha crosses all races, creeds, locations and lifestyles. It is normal – just as normal as anything else. Only, there just simply aren’t a lot of Aloha people where we come from. So, it might take some getting used to. I know it may make some people uncomfortable, but I promise not to throw a lei on my most conservative family members just to annoy them. I’m just going to be authentically me. I just want to be happy without excuses. Isn’t that what we all want?
I’m Aloha. That’s it. I’m still me, but now I know who that is. I just wanted you to know.
Yeah, you guessed it. This post is about caves. Specifically, Meramec Caverns in Sullivan, Missouri.
I can’t help but to remember the last time I was in a cave, because I have SO many photos of ourselves in a non-descript, one-hundred-foot-deep cave that sits at the entrance to the Napali Coast State Park on the Island of Kauai.
Even though we didn’t go there to see a cave, it didn’t stop us from taking selfies like we had discovered a stash of unicorns. The truth is, it was basically a drippy, dreary and dark garage.
Millions of Years of Artwork.
Meanwhile, back in Missouri, K.J. and I have behaved like true “locals” and completely ignored the 4.6 mile long system of caves and magical wonderment located just an hour away from our house. It’s our loss, because the people who DO go to Meramec Caverns are reveling at its light displays, eighty-foot-tall ‘stage curtain’ made of stalactites, super interesting history, and zip-lining!
We started out on the most beautiful spring day and took the short one-hour and fifteen minute drive south to Stanton, Missouri. Well, we forgot something at home and had to turn back – so, for us it was a two and a half hour drive… but, that was our fault. It so happens that it was the most appropriate of days – April Fool’s Day – because we sure felt foolish. [Read to the end to watch the video for THAT story.]
Overall, Meramec Caverns was well worth the trip (or, two – in our case).
This geological wonder is a monolith that extends hundreds of feet below ground with some of the most rare and awe-inspiring formations in the world. The caverns are beautifully presented with lighting and an easy concrete path and hand rails extending throughout. We were also pleasantly surprised to discover that there is extensive history and geological significance which has been painstakingly preserved. It is a very special cave system and equally unique experience.
The surface of the water inside the cave is perfectly still and appears to be crystal clear. In reality, it is an optical illusion. The water is actually reflecting the formations above.
Lighting is used creatively to enhance the stalactites and stalagmites to awe and inspire. Mirrored rivers fool your eyes to believing you’re looking into a deep chasm, only to realize it is the reflection of the phenomenal cavern overhead. The variety of formations and colors are beautiful.
Our tour guide used humor, anecdotes and history to keep everyone entertained as they lead groups ranging from 10 to 75 tourists at a time through the cave system and back again.
Our Take On It
While we didn’t exactly step into Narnia, the tour did not disappoint. The ever-changing formations, well-placed lighting and informative and entertaining tour guide made it a satisfying experience.
We will leave some of the details about the cave and grand finale as a surprise. As a hint, it involves a video / musical presentation and a very clever use of a 700+ Million year old stage curtain. It’s quite impressive.
Perhaps the best endorsement we heard was from one tour-goer who said she likes to take the tour several times a year – alone – just to see what new and interesting formations she can spot each time. Now that’s an endorsement.
The stalactite “Stage Curtain” displays colorful lights and a presentation during the tour.
Colorful lights and a musical presentation is displayed on a stalactite “stage curtain.”
Highlights
For us, the highlights of the tour include:
The third largest stalactite in the world,
An 80-foot tall stage curtain of stalactites,
Underground rivers and waterfalls,
Outlaw history (complete with statues),
A spacious and fun gift shop,
An ice cream parlor,
Clean bathrooms,
Zip Lining (although, we did not partake),
Campgrounds and RV areas,
Boat tours on the Meramec River,
and… more.
Accessibility
There are approximately 58-60 steep, often wet, stairs to climb in order to reach some of the most impressive formations. It’s worth it if you can make it up and back down. I’m not the most agile bear, but I found it pretty easy by just taking my time.
It is noteworthy to mention that while the steps are in good shape, solid and paved with grooves for traction, there is no elevator. The steps can be sort of steep, lighting is dim, and the stairs are often wet. Anyone with serious mobility issues may have to skip one small section of the tour leading to the “wine room.”
Those who cannot make it up the steps to the “wine room” are respectfully offered a detour to the grand finale area where there is lighted, comfortable seating. The rest of the tour makes the short trip up and down the stairs, then the group reunites for the grand finale.
Things to Know
Bring a jacket. It’s 58 degrees year round inside the cave. You’ll also want to wear shoes with decent traction (remember those 50+ steps that are wet and dimly lit?).
Oh, yes… and you will get dripped on a little bit. At least, once in a while. It is a cave with dripping formations overhead. It is minimal.
Also, if you bring your own pocket flashlight (to get a better look at some of the formations) please be considerate of those around you. Don’t be the guy shining people in the eyes with one of those super powerful mag lights. It’s rude.
The entrance has interesting displays and artifacts as you head toward the ticket booth.
Cost
Surprisingly, the caverns are privately owned, but you can hardly tell that it isn’t a state park. Your admission of $21 per adult & $8 per child (as of April 1, 2017) goes to into the coffers of a private family-owned enterprise. It is open every day from 9am – 6pm except Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. In other words, stop by anytime… you won’t miss this one because of the time of year or day of the week.
Children
Meramec Caverns is a terrific day trip for all ages. We don’t have children, however it appeared to us that children under four years of age bored with the tour quickly and had to be watched closely by their parents. On the other hand, school-age children – as well as their parents and grandparents – were quite mesmerized.
Video
Check out our video below about our day at Meramec Caverns!
It was a lot of fun! Let us entertain you…
For the official source of information about Meramec Caverns, visit their website.
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We are just a couple of 40-something guys trying to live a Truly Remarkable Life.
*No squid were harmed in the making of this photo.
K.J. is a total foodie and baker, and Craig is a writer and poet. Together, we love to travel every chance we get! Watch our Get to Know Us videos if you want to know all about us.
We have a pretty interesting story, and an even more interesting one developing before our eyes. So, we decided to share the best of our adventures and experiences with you! We’d love it if you came along for the ride.
Meet Our Family
Our fur-children make our family complete. Both are rescues and spoiled rotten.
Those faces!
Krypto is a terrier mix born in about 2009, and was rescued from an abusive home by a good friend of ours in 2010. Over the next two years, his humans both passed away unexpectedly, which left Krypto very traumatized. He was left in our care and we’ve promised him a forever home. We wouldn’t trade him for anything. He is all boy… and very protective of his dads and little sister!
Scrappy is a very petite Shih Tzu. KJ rescued her from a breeder who was going to have her put down because she was the runt of the litter. He promptly drove five hours and handed the man a check for full price just to make sure she survived. She has been KJ’s bundle of love ever since. She is a pretty, but persnickety, little girl… but we love her just the same.
Thanks for checking out our “Get to Know Us” videos. Check out the videos for Krypto and Scrappy! Be sure to subscribe on YouTube, and follow our journey on Facebookand Instagram.
See you soon!
-Craig & KJ
The Truly Remarkable Life blog will grow as we do… we promise! Be sure to check us out on YouTube,Facebookand Instagram.
Craig is a Travel Vlogger, Writer and Poet. Check out his Travel Vlog videos on YouTube, or follow on Instagram & FB – all as “Truly Remarkable Life.”
I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I can be a night owl and it gets out of hand sometimes and starts to impact my health. If I could just live as a night owl, I’d be fine. BUT, the pesky world doesn’t allow it.
Truly Remarkable Life 
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